A Different Kind of Christian Demonstration at Gay Pride

imsorryshirts

How does the Church communicate God’s love to the gay community?

This past weekend Chicago, along with many other US cities, celebrated Gay Pride with a parade. As a part of the weekend, Nathan and a group of over 30 Christians from various Chicago churches went to demonstrate at the Gay Pride Parade with the Marin Foundation.

Their demonstration was much different, though.

While the most vocal “Christian” presence at the parade was in the form of protesters with “God Hates Fags” signs, Nathan and a team from the Marin Foundation took a different approach… they chose to apologize.

The volunteers wore black t-shirts with the phrase “I’m Sorry” on the front and held signs with messages of apology, on behalf of all Christians, for the way the church has treated the gay community.

While the ultimate message Jesus came to preach was one of love, grace and compassion, we’ve sadly misrepresented Him and alienated sons and daughters from their Father’s embrace… and I’m so excited to see how Nathan and his team took a different, humble approach and in the end, did something far more powerful than preaching or shouting… they showed love.

Nathan posted a story from the Pride Parade outreach on his blog that absolutely needs to be heard…Here’s some excerpts…

What I loved most about the day is when people “got it.” I loved watching people’s faces as they saw our shirts, read the signs, and looked back at us. Responses were incredible. Some people blew us kisses, some hugged us, some screamed thank you. A couple ladies walked up and said we were the best thing they had seen all day.

Watching people recognize our apology brought me to tears many times. It was reconciliation personified.

My favorite though was a gentleman who was dancing on a float. He was dressed solely in white underwear and had a pack of abs like no one else. As he was dancing on the float, he noticed us and jokingly yelled, “What are you sorry for? It’s pride!” I pointed to our signs and watched him read them.

Then it clicked.

Then he got it.

He stopped dancing. He looked at all of us standing there. A look of utter seriousness came across his face. And as the float passed us he jumped off of it and ran towards us. He hugged me and whispered, “thank you.”

I think a lot of people would stop at the whole “man in his underwear dancing” part. That seems to be the most controversial. It’s what makes the evening news. It’s the stereotype most people have in their minds about Pride.

Sadly, most Christians want to run from such a sight rather than engage it. Most Christian won’t even learn if that person dancing in his underwear has a name. Well, he does. His name is Tristan.

However, I think Jesus would have hugged him too. It’s exactly what I read throughout scripture: Jesus hanging out with people that religious people would flee from. Correlation between then and now? I think so.

Acceptance is one thing. Reconciliation is another. Sure at Pride, everyone is accepted (except perhaps the protestors). There are churches that say they accept all. There are business that say the accept everyone. But acceptance isn’t enough. Reconciliation is.

Reconciliation forces one to remember the wrongs committed and relive constant pain. Yet it’s more powerful and transformational because two parties that should not be together and have every right to hate one another come together for the good of one another, for forgiveness, reconciliation, unity.

What I saw and experienced at Pride 2010 was the beginning of reconciliation. It was in the shocked faces of gay men and women who did not ever think Christians would apologize to them.

I hugged a man in his underwear. I hugged him tightly. And I am proud.

What’s so cool about this story is that when Nathan posted the picture it lit up on Facebook and someone recognized Tristan and Tristan got in touch with Nathan yesterday afternoon. He said that all he could talk about from his experience at the Pride Parade was meeting Nathan and all of the Christians who were there to say they were sorry.

He was moved and he and Nathan are going to meet up later this week for coffee.

That’s what it’s all about. Who knows what will happen or what will come of this, but one life was impacted and countless seeds were planted in the hearts of many.

Pray for Tristan and Nathan’s conversation and pray that this will be the beginning of a movement of reconciliation between the Church and the gay community. UPDATE 07/06/10: Nathan posted an interview with Tristan on his blog!

Huge props to Nathan, Kevin, Andrew, everyone at the Marin Foundation, and those who courageously joined them this weekend in taking Christ’s love to a place most Christians would run away from. Thanks for being an example and setting a high bar for the rest of us to follow.

How is your church communicating to the gay community? Maybe we need to start with a humble apology.

UPDATE: Many people have responded wanting to do something similar in their cities, so the Marin Foundation is making the “I’m Sorry” t-shirts available. Details here.

Tim Schraeder is passionately committed to helping churches effectively communicate the timeless message of the Gospel in a way that’s relevant to our ever-changing culture. He presently serves as the co-director of the Center for Church Communication and is the creator and general editor of Outspoken: Conversations on Church Communication, a field guide for church communication leaders. Tim lives in Chicago where he can be found in any neighborhood coffee shop that has free wifi. Subscribe via RSS | Subscribe via Email | Twitter | Facebook | Google+ | Sign Up for My Newsletter
  • http://colonelgirdle.wordpress.com/ colonelgirdle

    Thank you, Tim, for this inspiring post. So many times I am embarrassed to admit I am a "Christian" because the word has been so corrupted by the cruel & hateful. The people in your article are truly following Jesus' example.

  • http://metropolitanmama.net Stephanie

    It's awesome to see Christians demonstrating love in this way. What a beautiful picture of who God is.

  • Claire

    I am an atheist and I was linked here from another blog.. I have to say, this was just beautiful. There's so much hate in this world and sometimes it's easy (and wrong, might I add) for nonbelievers like myself to brush off religion as something that starts that hate. It's so inspiring to see something like this and I'm grateful for the reminder that there are still people out there who truly do believe in love AND God and practice what they preach.

  • http://www.stringbeancompany.com/ Soni

    This is my favorite segment that you do…I actually look forward to it!

    This comment was originally posted on Metropolitan Mama

  • http://rightnowvision.wordpress.com/ The Right Now! Vision

    I was similarly moved by Tim’s blog. I wonder of people who specifically use "abomination" use that to address their children having been caught in a lie or with themselves when they are envious of their coworker’s new G4 iPhone and wonders how they can "creatively" claim one as a business deduction on their taxes to justify getting one.

    Open question to the "God hate’s fags" groups…how successful would prison chaplains be if they only reached out to the people who were there for something God didn’t hate?

    This comment was originally posted on BLAINEHOGAN

  • http://gregatkinson.com gregatkinson

    I've been blogging about this issue on my blog several times over the past year and am going to have more blogs coming up. At first, I was happy to read the story and see the picture. I think the display of love and asking forgiveness (for bigotry and hatred) was needed and beautiful.

    What disturbed me was all the comments (I read through them all) of people that say that's not enough – we must "affirm" their lifestyle and some even asked us to join "Pro-Gay groups" to show our support as straight people.

    This is what I've been blogging about and asking sincerely – can we not just be friends and love one another without me having to change what I believe Scripture teaches about the homosexual lifestyle? I would join this group and wear an "I'm Sorry" t-shirt with the meaning being that I'm sorry for the "God hates fags" groups and protesters that scream hate. I'm not sorry for holding to my view of Scripture.

    You can read my heart here in this blog post: http://gregatkinson.com/2009/09/21/cant-we-all-ju…

    • Cherish

      I agree

  • http://gregatkinson.com gregatkinson

    I guess this is what I'm trying to say – This is an excerpt from Tim's interview with Nathan of the Marin Foundation:
    "There is a difference between validation and affirmation; standing with doesn’t mean affirmation of. We can stand with people even though we may not affirm their actions or beliefs. I stand with my non-Christian friends even though I do not affirm certain political views or their private lives." That's where I'm coming from. I'm fine with saying "I'm sorry" for the hate and mean things said by so-called Christians and the Church, but that doesn't mean I affirm your lifestyle.

    I also discussed this here on my blog: http://gregatkinson.com/2010/06/28/lets-discuss-t…

  • Stephanie

    Thank you, Soni! That means a lot. I put a lot of time and effort into Tuesday Tours so it’s great to know that people like you appreciate it. :)

    This comment was originally posted on Metropolitan Mama

  • http://www.emergingmummy.com/ Sarah@EmergingMummy

    So glad you included the demonstration. It makes me heart sing.

    This comment was originally posted on Metropolitan Mama

  • http://www.mereorthodoxy.com/ Christopher Benson

    JAKE: What are your friends’ reservations about Andrew Marin’s book, Love Is An Orientation?

    This comment was originally posted on Mere Orthodoxy

  • http://mereorthodoxy.com/ Cate MacDonald

    Christopher,

    So sorry for my very late reply. I’ve been away from the internet and most likely will continue to be for most the Summer, but I hope to check back in here when possible.

    I am thankful for the spirit of the demonstration, though I too wonder how effective it will be to the long-term evangelism of the gay community (but hey, it is surely a lot better in that regard than any more negative demonstration). What I worry about the most is that in trying to apologize or make-up for the wrongs of the church, we will diminish her power. Of course, that is not to say that we should not apologize for the wrongs of the church, but do it in such a way that encourages people to come back to her, not laugh or lord over her. This is actually a challenge I’ve felt myself in wanting my non-Christian friends to know that I understand and dislike the failings of the church without communicating to them that the church herself is irrelevant, unimportant, or (at worst) ungodly. The Marin Foundation had a short message, perhaps too short. On the other hand, theirs is one of love and if that gets communicated to homosexual people, God bless them in it.

    This comment was originally posted on Mere Orthodoxy

  • holly

    This issue has weighed on my heart for a long time. Reading what Nathan and his church did and the response it received made me cry. Too many people, regardless of their lifestyle, believe that Christ followers hate them. They don't believe we would ever reach out to touch them, to love them. We. should. be. the. first.
    The world will know we are Christians by our love, that's what the Bible says. Let's work on that.

  • http://notesfromasmallplace.wordpress.com/ Jake Meador

    Christopher – My friend wrote a review in Books and Culture of the book: http://www.booksandculture.com/articles/webexclusives/2009/may/elevating.html (For what it’s worth, he also has a book coming out this fall called Washed and Waiting – Reflections on Christianity and homosexuality.)

    In terms of Marin’s work in the gay community, I think it’s prudent to acknowledge that improving the relationship between Christians and the gay community is something we must grow into. I don’t think we can equate Marin’s attitude toward same-sex behavior to that of more liberal Christians. Marin’s explanation in the book is basically that when most gay people ask a Christian if homosexuality is sinful or not they’re not asking the question with a sincere interest in discussion. Rather, they’re asking it as a litmus test. They’ve been hurt by so many Christians over the years, that when they meet you and find out you’re a Christian, they’re initial impulse is to not trust you. They ask the question about the morality of same-sex behavior as a way to judge whether they can trust you. So Marin isn’t avoiding the question because he’s cowardly or ashamed of the Christian tradition. He’s avoiding it b/c he feels that, at this point in our history with the gay community, it’s a bad question.

    Whether that approach is right or not is another question (in the above review Wes argues that it isn’t a good approach) but I don’t think it’s fair to Marin to equate his beliefs to those of more liberal Christians.

    Cate – I like your comment about the difficulty of apologizing for the church without weakening the church. It’s something I’ve had to think about a lot as well b/c of my own messy history with Christianity. I’d be curious to see you flesh out those thoughts a bit more in a separate post.

    peace

    This comment was originally posted on Mere Orthodoxy

  • http://www.mereorthodoxy.com/ Christopher Benson

    JAKE: Does the relationship between Christians and the gay community need to be improved? Absolutely! That’s why I argued for a different emotional response to gays in my blog post on disgust and its role in the same-sex marriage debate. Where there has been disgust, there should be love. Is the reputation of an abusive relationship between the church and gays exaggerated? Probably. The culture wars are responsible for this exaggeration. While I’m not trying to diminish the pain and alienation that many gays have experienced because of the church, I would like to see empirical proof (studies) of how the church has persecuted the homosexual minority in America. Would we find out, as William Cavanaugh tells us in his new book, that the reality of religious violence is a myth? Let’s face it: gay activists have a stake in the myth of religious violence while they pursue legal equality.

    I’ve researched Andrew Marin and The Marin Foundation. His incarnational ministry (being “a little Christ” to gays) is admirable, but his equivocation on the ethical and theological questions seems irresponsible and misleading. Progressive evangelicals (Tony Campolo, Jim Wallis, and Brian McLaren) dodge the straightforward questions – Is homosexuality a sin? Should the church/state support same-sex marriage – because they claim justice requires them to bracket those questions until the rights are wronged. In the meantime, there aren’t guides through the sexual wilderness we’re living in. Instead of clarity, there’s confusion, Instead of healing, there’s a “conversation.” Does a moratorium on the straightforward questions hurt or help the situation?

    Marin envisions himself as a “bridge-builder” but as far as I can tell he’s only got the vote of confidence from progressive evangelicals whose position on homosexuality is no different than liberal mainline Protestants. Where are Marin’s endorsements from R. Albert Mohler, James Dobson, and John Piper?

    All that said, I do think it’s an unfortunate sign of the times when the straightforward questions mentioned above are used as a litmus test to determine whether the interrogated is “with us” or “against us,” as Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, writes in his essay “Knowing Myself in Christ”:Ours is a time in which it is depressingly easy to make this or that issue a test of Christian orthodoxy in such a way as to make wholly suspect the theology of anyone disagreeing on the issue in question; in other words, the possibility is neglected that Christians beginning from the same premises and convictions may yet come to different conclusions about particular matters without thereby completely voiding the commonness of their starting-point. It is really a matter of having a language in which to disagree rather than speaking two incompatible or mutually exclusive tongues. Of late, attitudes to sexuality have come to be seen as a clear marker of orthodoxy or unorthodoxy in many circles; and it is true that there are plenty of people for whom the casting off of “traditional” or even scriptural norms to do with certain kinds of sexual behavior is part of a general program of emancipation from the constraints of what they conceive to be orthodoxy, part of a package that might include a wide-ranging relativism, pluralism in respect of other faiths, agnosticism about various aspects of doctrine or biblical narrative, and so on. However, it seems to me that the [St. Andrew's Day] Statement, beginning as it does with proposed principles for theological discussion, recognizes that the assumption that revisionism on one question entails wholesale doctrinal or ethical relativism is dangerous for the future of reasoned Christian disagreement of a properly theological character (qtd. from The Way Forward?: Christian Voices on Homosexuality and the Church, edited by Timothy Bradshaw). Here’s the key question: Does The Marin Foundation begin with “the same premises and convictions” as the “Great Tradition” of the Church? If we don’t have a common starting-point, we’re in trouble.

    You and I probably agree that a change of method – not message – is needed. The change offered by Marin doesn’t really seem like a change because it conforms to the Christian Left way of doing things. I’m no advocate for the Christian Right way of doing things either. Is there a third way? Following James Davison Hunter’s argument in To Change the World, the third way is what he calls “faithful presence” – faithful to scriptural truth, faithful to love the neighbor, faithful to the mercy and justice of God.

    NOTE: I encourage the Mere O audience to read the St. Andrew’s Day Statement (1995) that Williams references. Matt Anderson, a fan of Oliver O’Donovan, may or may not be aware that he signed this statement. Do a Google search on “St. Andrew’s Day Statement” and a PDF is available to read. I would sign the document.

    This comment was originally posted on Mere Orthodoxy