Donald Miller on Pain

Continuing a weekend with Donald Miller and the team at Lake Forest Church with some fantastic conversations about pain and the structure of God’s story in our lives.

• How does God use our pain?
• I believe that God intended for us to experience pain.
• It’s the anthesis of what we understand in our culture.
• We are taughtthere is not supposed to be pain in our lives by our culture.
• That’s not consistent with a Christian worldview.
• Don talked about Toy Story 3 and how he was impacted by it.
• I think Toy Story 3 is the greatest screenplay ever on film.
• It’s not my favorite movie but it’s a flawless screenplay if you study story.
• The story is about a group of characters who are separated with their owner.
• They were created for relationship with their owner.
• They are trying to find their way back to their own.
• Pixar spends 3 years cultivating their stories before the start animating.
• The human epic we are in is reflected in Toy Story 3.
• The most traditional story structure obeys a 3 act structure.
• Act 1 is about 10 minutes.
• At the end, something happens that launches the character into the story.
• That’s an inciting incident.
• Act 2 is the bulk of the story.
• The last 5 minutes are Act 3.
• Act 2 is trying to resolve the conflict that happened because of the inciting incident.
• Something usually happens to go back to Act 1 but then is resolved and runs into Act 3.
• Something happened in our lives that disrupted our emotional stability.
• The Christian worldview says that’s the fall of man.
• When we understand the structure of story, we can understand where we are at in our lives as humans.
• There is a point in a story where all of the conflict is resolved through one single action.
• Why is there an Act 3 climax in stories when there is no Act 3 in real life?
• Conflict and Characters exist in life. The climax doesn’t
• Everything in a story is represented in a story except for the climax.
• If you can convince people that there is an Act 3 climax in life, you can manipulate and control them.
• Advertising does that. It says, “Something is wrong with you, BUT if you do this, you’ll get better…”
• The cultural scripts that run through our commercials are interesting.
• They all say the same thing: if you buy this, this will happen.
• We as humans, especially as Christians, need to accept the reality that life is hard.
• As Christians, we need to teach people that life is hard.
• The most happy country in the world is Denmark. [America is 32nd]
• The common characteristic of people in Denmark is that they have low expectations in life.
• If you have low expectations you’ll be surprised when things go right.
• When we look at Scripture we see people facing difficult, painful realities.
• Romans 8, Paul talks about the Act 3 climax that will take place in your life, when you go to Heaven.
• Most of the verses on hope are focused on hope later, not hope now.
• If you believe that you are supposed to be experiencing the climax now, your focus is off.
• You will go through life very disappointed.
• Where we are is in Act 2. Not Act 3.
• We are in the struggle.
• We are post, mid-act climax.
• That’s the cross and resurrection.
• That was the event that will engage the Act 3 climax.
• We are betrothed.
• We are engaged to Christ.
• Your troubles will never end.
• What you do have in this life is hope.
• We can climb through the mountains of life and struggle together.
• The sufferings of this present time cannot compare to the glory that’s going to be revealed … – Paul
• Christ’s glory is to be revealed. Not has been revealed.
• In the midst of our pain, we are to wait with patience and have faith it will happen.
• What should our posture be?
• How does someone act when they are engaged?
• They are excited about the what’s to come.
• They are hopeful.
• If you are 30 years old, you’ve had 12-15 significant positive and negative experiences.
• God redeems the hard things in life.
• Sometimes God embeds things in our lives.
• We are born into conflict.

• Joseph has a dream  [positive]
• Joseph tells his brothers [negative]
• Joseph is thrown in the well [negative] – “I blew this…”
• There are mistakes you can make in this life that will cause churches to exempt you from helping them fulfill their mission. But God can still use you.
• Joseph is rescued [positive]
• Sold into slavery [negative]
• Run’s Potiphar’s house [positive]
• Thrown in prison [negative]
• Meets baker and cup bearer [positive]
• Cup bearer forgets [negative]
• Joseph meets Pharaoh [positive]

Bringing it Home

• Write down the positive and negative turns in your life.
• Spend time doing this.
• Your positive experiences are points to celebrate God’s faithfulness.
• When we look at our negative experiences, we need to let God redeem them.
• What the enemy intended for evil, God can use for good.
• Mine those experiences in your life.
• Do something with them.
• Through writing the book about growing up fatherless, Don has created a non profit to mentor fatherless boys.
• The things God can do through the hard things in your life can be the things that bring hope to others.
• Create a storyline of your life.
• Ask yourself, “With these negative things, what can happen?”
• Each negative turn in your life can create a seed that can grow into something great that can bless and feed others.

Q&A Session with Mitch White

• There are different kinds of conflict. There’s conflict that God embeds in our stories.
• This idea that we can be completed in God is untrue on this side of eternity.
• Some of our needs are there because God wants them to be there.
• God took Adam’s conflict and made it worse by asking him to name to the Animals.
• God uses conflict to make us appreciate what He is going to provide.
• It gives us respect for what He gives us.
• It causes us to fear and honor Him.
• There’s conflict that comes from the fall of man.
• It’s not what God likes or wanted for us.
• Control is the root of all sin.
• God does not make you love Him. He gives you a choice.
• Authentic, real loving relationships are made between people who have a will to love one another.
• Freewill is an act of love from God.
• People fill their lives with false, Act 3 climaxes.
• Most people realize those are empty when they get them.
• Put the Act 3 climax at our reunion with Christ.
• That makes all of life about heading toward that climax and taking people with us. That’s evangelism.
• Your motives change.
• It’s less about the praise of people and more about the advancement of the mission.
• On his next book… it’s going to be a CS Lewis Screwtape-style journal of God’s account of creation and the fall.
• On the Blue Like Jazz movie… we hope it changes Christian media. It releases in April.
• The Bible is a great narrative of flawed people who chose to give their lives for the love of God that captured their hearts.
• We need to learn to accept the beauty of people’s flawed humanity.